“Z” is for ZEE – A Child We All Know … But Nobody Knows

ZWARNING: This story is graphic and contains material which may disturb some readers.

* * * * *

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I’m resting inside of the womb

My mom’s at a party, she’s drinking up hardy

Surrounded by smoke in a room

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

In the womb, I hear partiers’ voices

My mom smokes some pot and then takes a hard shot

Someone asks, “Don’t you know you have choices?”

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

My mom has decided to keep me

“Help me think of a name,” as they play a beer game

In their drunkenness they say, “Name her Zee.”

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

When I’m born, my dad fondles and shoves me

My mom sees his sin and starts drinking again

Then she hides me away, cuz she loves me

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I’m a child in an unstable place

One day my dad finds us, and the judge then rebinds us

Tells mom she did not have a case

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

That first night, my dad crawls in behind me

I know it is wrong, but I still go along

After all, he’s worked so hard to find me

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I tell the judge that I am happy

If I don’t tell a lie, then my dad will deny

Take me home, and then violently slap me

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

My mother moves far, far away

Says she knows she can’t win so she’s moving with friends

I am trapped now – I know I must stay

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

My dad takes a job where he travels

I stay with a friend and I’m safe, once again

When my dad calls, my solace unravels

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

When my friend asks, “Do you miss your father?”

I lie and I say that I miss him each day

To deny it would be such a bother

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?Child abuse

The day comes when father returns

My friend calls the phone, to make sure I got home

As the phone rings, my dad’s passion burns

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I lay broken, a mess on the floor

My dad’s lust has passed, but how long will it last

‘Til he treats me again like his whore?

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I finally confide in my friend

She shares with her folks and their anger evokes

“I promise you, Zee, this will end!”

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

My friend’s parents call CPS

I’m taken from dad and he’s stark-raving mad

But at last, with a stranger, I rest

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

My father escapes in the night

He knows he’s to blame and will not face the flame

He’s aware he will lose in this fight

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I never see daddy again

Since he can’t lie above me, he’d rather not love me

That’s the way our connection would end

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I switch schools and begin life anew

My innocence lost, I’ve stopped counting the cost

I just want to know love, real and true

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I get pregnant before I am wed

The father rejects us, his family neglects us

Sometimes, I just wish I were dead

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

Another child now on the way

I often feel dirty and, in turn, I act flirty

It’s a conflicting world, I must say

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I’m on drugs now, they help me forget it

I’ve lost both my kids for the things that I did

Unlike dad though, I greatly regret it

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I’m alone in a world that now hates me

I once had a chance, ‘til my father’s romance

Now society shreds and berates me

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

Through God, I have sobered my living

My kids have returned, though my anger still burns

But I’m learning the art of forgiving

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

Those who did in my youth, they adored me

They wonder just how I can look at them now

And find peace in a life that’s abhorred me

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I’m a child of the Father above

Though my dad on the earth was as worthless as dirt

I deserve to know justice and love

 

My name is Zee. Do you think you know me?

I don’t judge you for thinking you do

But I pray you’ll soon see that there’s much more to me

As I know there is much more to you

 * * * * *

Child Abuse 2

This poem is based on the true story of my daughter’s childhood friend. Her name started with a “Z”, and for her privacy, she is “Zee” for this post.

She is a beautiful soul whose innocence was stolen by somebody she should have been able to trust.

I will never forget when she finally told us what was happening to her, especially when she shared about the times that my daughter would call to make sure Zee got home okay, but she couldn’t answer the phone because her father was raping her on the kitchen floor. Zee said that she’d listen to my daughter’s voice, leaving a message on the answering machine, and it would help her to get through the terrible act that was taking place.

Zee still struggles, but I pray that the day will come when she understands her true value, as a child of God.

Although she’s moved away and we rarely communicate these days, she will always be a daughter to me. I will always love her … in her brokenness and in her strength.

Because of Zee, I’m reminded not to judge others who have made choices that I don’t understand. Often, they are struggling with past wounds that have never closed.

Pray for those who are walking down paths of self-destruction. There is usually a reason for it, which we will never know.

Give them the gift of an embrace, even as they make choices we don’t understand.

Child Abuse Hotlines

http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline-home

http://www.childhelp.org/

http://lacdcfs.org/contactus/childabuse.html

https://www.childwelfare.gov/responding/how.cfm

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist/rl_dsp.cfm?rs_id=5&rate_chno=11-11172

 

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on ““Z” is for ZEE – A Child We All Know … But Nobody Knows

    • Thank you for reading and commenting, Linda. Isn’t it true? It’s so easy for us to judge others without even realizing we’re doing so. Your well wishes for “Zee” are much appreciated. Bless you, Linda.

      Like

  1. This left me crying, as still to this day I love “Zee” as one of my one. Miss seeing her beautiful face, and her wonderful spirit.

    Like

  2. I miss her too. I hope she knows how much she touched our lives and that we’ll always be here for her. I knew you’d know exactly who “Zee” was when you read this. Maybe we should take a road trip and go see her. We can just grab our daughter and the 3 of us can hit the road to go hug Zee!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s