Is God Laughing at Us? Men, Women, and Communication …

P1040238 (3)The date is Friday, June 20, 2014.

Ed and I are travelling north on Highway 99. It’s 5:47 p.m. and we’re closing in on Mariposa, California, where my mother-in-law awaits our arrival.

The four hour-drive has offered plenty of time for Ed and I to catch up on conversations that we’ve been missing out on, thanks to the busyness of life.

Jimmy Buffet has joined the party, singing “Fins” on the radio. My husband turns up the volume and we bounce in our seats, joining in the chorus. FINS

“You got fins to the left, fins to the right, and you’re the only bait in town.”

My sandals are off and my feet dance across the dash of our 2012 Kia Optima. The music, combined with my bare toes, makes me feel like I’ve found my own tiny tropical island, right there in Ed’s car.

The only thing missing is an umbrella drink! umbrella drink 2

When the song ends, I’m feeling good. All of the stress that crawled into the car with us has flown out the window, so I decide to have a little fun.

I Want Something, But He Can’t Read My Mind

“Honey,” I say.

“Yes, dear,” Ed answers, sort of like that.

I turn down the radio’s volume so that I don’t have to compete with it. I want Ed to hear what I have to say.

“I’d like for you to tell me how wonderful I am.”

He ponders my request momentarily before answering.TRAP

“No,” he responds.It’s a trap.”

“No, it’s not,” I promise. “I’d like to hear how great you think I am … compared to all of the other women out there.

“I mean, why’d ya pick me?

“And be honest!”

“I can’t,” Ed answers. “It won’t be the same since you asked for it.”

“Yes, it will.”

He thinks about it further. By now I’m convinced that, at any moment, he’ll begin pouring sugary compliments upon me. I mean, come on! It’s just the two of us, enjoying some wonderful bonding time! The mood is right to shower each other with sweet nothings!

And besides, I’d crossed a gender barrier, telling him exactly what I wanted from him, rather than expecting him to read my mind.

“I feel like a trap door is about to slam, right on top of me,” Ed finally says. “I’m not gonna fall for it!”

TRAP DOORI laugh, then continue, determined to help him understand.

“You men always say that you wish women didn’t expect you to read our minds,” I explain. “Well, I don’t. I’m in the mood to receive compliments from you. I want you to tell me why you love me.

“Instead of waiting for you to figure it out, I’m asking for it.”

Muahhh Haaaa Haaaa, the wicked voice inside of my head cackled. How can he dispute the validity of my point?

“After all,” I continued, “Isn’t that what you men say that you want from us?”

He chewed his gum with fervor, then made a comment about the driver in front of us who was “deliberately holding up traffic in the fast lane.”

The conversation was over.

I smiled, realizing that I still felt just as loved as ever, even though my request went unfulfilled.

Ed doesn’t have to explain why he loves me. He shows me all the time.

I confess, it would’ve been interesting to hear what he had to say, but I doubt it would have been as entertaining as it was to watch him squirm.

We both learned a valuable lesson that day …

Men: Despite what you say, you don’t really want women to ask, directly, for the things we want. Sometimes, it’s easier (and safer) to guess.

Women: Despite what they say, men are frightened to really know what thoughts are swimming around in our heads. They’re better off trying to read our minds, but we must understand that they will never truly understand what goes on up there!

And none of us should be angry about it. We were wired this way! God created us so that, when women blatantly request specific wants, men’s wiring short-circuits!God Laughing 1 (2)

Our Divine Creator, has quite a sense of humor. Sometimes, I imagine Him watching us and chuckling as He nudges the angel, Gabriel.

“Watch this,” He might say, witnessing a man and woman trying to communicate. “This is gonna be good!”

Ultimately, we can only do our best, understanding that God created us differently for a purpose and trusting that He knew what He was doing!

I find satisfaction in knowing that we’re all in this together …

MARS AND VENUSMen and Women …

Mars and Venus …

Yin and Yang …

And hey! If God has a sense of humor about it, shouldn’t we? What a boring world this would be if we were all the same!



4 thoughts on “Is God Laughing at Us? Men, Women, and Communication …

  1. I find this story humorous as well and as as husband I can perfectly relate to your husband in this case. But I respectfully disagree with the conclusion you drew from this experience

    “Despite what you say, you don’t really want women to ask, directly, for the things we want. Sometimes, it’s easier (and safer) to guess.”

    I do want my wife to tell me what she wants and not make me guess(this can be a great source of friction when she does try to make me guess). However I have told her on more than one occasion, that just because she is clear and tells me what she wants, does not mean I can always fulfill her requests.

    The truth is that men cannot express feelings on request as women can, we are just built differently that way.

    You somewhat alluded to this in your post, men tend to express more in actions, than in words how they feel towards their wife. Should a husband tell his wife he loves her? Absolutely. Should a man tell his wife she is beautiful? Of course. But those two things may be the extent of the verbal ways a man communicates loves to his wife, while the majority of the ways he communicates his love will be non-verbal and action oriented.


    • I love your comment and agree with you. There is so much truth in what you’re saying.

      This post was, for the most part, written in jest, as a playfully sarcastic jab about the sexes.

      Perhaps I should have clarified the element of lighthearted banter within the post, including the comment with which you disagree. You’re 100% right. Wives should speak in love and honesty to our husbands, expressing our needs and desires.

      With that, I also love the differences between us and how we approach (and receive) things … the differences that God wired into us. I have to chuckle about it sometimes!

      Thank you for reading and commenting! And thanks, also, for pointing this out to me, as it has reminded me to clarify when I’m being serious vs. when I’m simply being verbally playful!

      Bless you and your family!
      Shawny Lou


      • No problem at all…and sorry if I seemed to have a more serious tone with a more humorous post – I understand completely what you are saying.

        I think as you said we should be able to not only accept the differences that God has made between the sexes, but also laugh at them and enjoy them.

        Too many people today(mostly women) want to try and make men more like women, and that is a grave mistake in my opinion. The feminization of America has only weakened our nation, both morally, economically and militarily as I am sure based on reading your blog, you would also agree.

        God bless you and your family as well

        Liked by 1 person

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